• Kety Lopez, LMHC

Tips on loving and being loved.

Updated: Feb 8

The triangular theory of love was developed by Robert Sternberg in the 80s and ever since it became a classic topic in various psychology courses. I use it with my clients a lot to clarify their feelings about all three areas & spark conversations with their partners. In this post, I just wanna share some ways to strengthen each area within your relationship. Feel free to comment below and provide more suggestions!

Here are some tips on how to care for all three areas:


  • Keep your word, show up on time, do what you said you would do.

  • Be faithful.

  • Make your partner part of your life, run things by them, include them in the decision making process.

  • Be there during difficult times; offer a non-judgmental ear, advice, support, reassurance, a hug...

  • Share the good times, the good news, your dreams and accomplishments.


  • Enjoy making love and having sex and be ok with both.

  • Express yourself! Tell your partner what you like about them. It could be a body part that turns you on or the way they kiss, touch, move, etc.

  • Create a space and time to be alone and intimate. Protect it and look forward to it.

  • Plan date nights or romantic gateways consistently not just when you’re feeling disconnected. If you do it on a regular basis, you might not “need it” as much!!

  • Kiss nice and slow, kiss passionately.

  • Caress your partner randomly throughout the day.


  • Be open to constructive criticism and offer it when necessary.

  • Be kind with your words but express yourself, tell your partner about your needs, wants, desires & fantasies.

  • Talk about childhood crap that you’re still working through, reflect on how it affects your relationship and what you both can do about it.

  • Help your partner open up if they need a little push by reflecting what you’re sensing.

  • Go to couples therapy if things start getting lost in translation or you can’t get past the power struggles.

  • Apologize when you’re in the wrong or have hurt him/her even if you were “right”.

  • Put yourself in your partners' shoes, try to look at things from their perspective.

  • Talk about all these things.

I hope you find these helpful. If you'd like to explore any of this further, feel free to call me or send me an email.


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(786) 366-6030

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