Save your marriage, deepen your love and connection with your life partner.
Are You Worried That Your Relationship Or Marriage Is In Jeopardy?
Do you and your partner, or spouse, often find yourselves fighting for no reason—tearing each other apart—but no one’s ever willing to back down? Are you getting dragged into endless arguments that leave you wondering what you started fighting about in the first place? Or are you so drained that you’ve stopped fighting, and it now feels like you’re living with a roommate in a cold and distant atmosphere?
Perhaps infertility issues, differences in your sense of commitment, or a lack of intimacy has you second-guessing the relationship—even your self-worth. Or maybe you’ve experienced infidelity or emotional abuse and it’s been hard to forgive and forget the many times your partner has failed or attacked you.
Sometimes, the differences that make individuals unique can create a great deal of tension, frustration, and loneliness for partners. Over time, that relationship stress can enable little issues to grow into big problems. Each time we fail to connect or feel let down by our partners, it accumulates and strengthens our fears of abandonment and rejection. We are instinctually programmed to notice those cues and are, by nature, sensitive to them. Therefore, if we also experience them in our relationships, it can be hard to lower our guard and “start fresh” after an “injury.” Hence the repetitive nature of relationship dynamics.
Right now, you’re likely worried that you’ve lost the person you fell in love with to the inevitability of time and change, but there is a way to restore your connection. With my help, you can stop arguing, gain the confidence that your partner is there for you, and make real strides in saving your relationship or marriage.
All Couples Experience Their Share Of Relationship Problems
Couples run into a range of challenges—it’s only natural. Communication issues, a lack of intimacy, differences in parenting styles, work/life balance, or infidelity—all are commonly responsible for relationship stress. In addition, many people struggle with deeply entrenched and unacknowledged emotional wounds from the past that get injected into how they bond in present relationships.
Sometimes, these relationship patterns are semi-conscious and we don’t understand them fully. However, we bring all our relational history into our current relationships, and it’s not just events. For instance, we are all deeply influenced by the bond we had with our parents as children—as well as their relationship with each other—as those are the earliest examples of attachment that we are exposed to. If those early relationships were flawed, it could easily create challenges for us as adults. As a result, emotionally charged topics that come up between two people can at times be overwhelming and bring out the worse in us. After a while, we get stuck in toxic cycles and are left feeling shame, regret, exhaustion, etc. That’s one of the reasons why so many unhappy couples wait until their relationship or marriage is in crisis before they seek counseling.
However, you can do something about it before it gets to that point. In couples counseling, we transform the harmful dynamics of your relationship into understanding and empathy so you can heal old wounds and focus on growing stronger together With my impartial support and guidance, you can resolve the issues at the heart of your relationship and enjoy a healthier, happier version of yourselves.
Couples Counseling Can Help Restore Your Intimate Connection
Working with a couples therapist gives you a chance to really dig deep and develop an intimate understanding of your experiences as partners. It’s about understanding the dynamics, the rhythm you dance to with each other. Using those moments of deep bonding in sessions, we can address each partner’s wounds, expanding upon the possibility of what a safe, fulfilling relationship can look like. Working together, you can cultivate greater empathy for each other and learn to articulate and respond to vulnerability accordingly. In the process, you’ll both be healing the wounds of the past and improving not just your relationships but every other aspect of your relational lives as well.
To get started, I want to familiarize myself with each of you as individuals. That’s why I dedicate the first few sessions to working with you separately—to explore your personal experiences and background, such as your upbringing and past relationships. We’ll also look at your core beliefs or any negative assumptions about yourself and where you developed them. And we’ll identify ways in which those ideas show up or get triggered in relationships.
Although understanding the past can be important, couples therapy is focused on the here and now. To that end, I want to know how you are feeling and what each of your goals for the relationship are. And, ultimately, I want to help you heal current wounds and prepare you to effectively handle difficulties in the future. A large part of that involves exploring and understanding emotional longings, how those needs are met, and what it means when a partner fails to accommodate. In turn, you’ll gradually be able to understand the inner workings of yourself, your partner, and the relationship. The goal is to become attuned to each other and be able to consistently respond to each other’s emotional needs so you each feel loved and connected.
I offer a safe, nonjudgmental space of self-compassionate healing for everyone. And though I tailor a treatment plan according to each person’s needs, one of the tools I regularly use is called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is all about identifying and changing the ways in which the dynamics of an individual’s attachment style is transferred into adult relationships.
I will also teach you communication skills that enable you to truly listen so that you can finally hear what your partner is saying and walk away with a new perspective. And I can help each of you develop a greater sense of self-awareness that will empower you to ask for what you need while still respecting each other’s boundaries.
Although it may not seem like it right now, there is a path for you to feel happier, more secure, and deeply passionate in your relationship. With my help, you can learn to feel comfortable with vulnerability and confident in knowing that your best friend will honor that pain and be there to catch you.
In time, you can heal the wounds that have pushed you apart and enjoy a relationship of greater empathy, trust, and connection.
Perhaps you are considering couples counseling but have some concerns…
How exactly do couples therapy sessions work with you?
In our initial session, I’ll meet with you as a couple for a two-hour general assessment. Then, I’ll meet with you once or twice as individuals to get a more candid take on your concerns and goals. At that point, we’ll continue meeting once a week as a couple.
Though the timeline varies, most couples benefit from somewhere around 4 to 6 months’ worth of support. By that time, they typically have the skills to be comfortable with vulnerability, overcome challenges on their own, and connect with each other using a new language.
Can I really save my marriage? Isn’t it easier to just call it quits?
Sometimes relationships end, and if you have the awareness to walk away from something unhealthy, that can be an empowering experience. But if you are ignoring a painful past that seems to make finding the right person impossible, any unhealthy patterns that are holding you back now will likely emerge in future relationships. So while there is a natural focus on marriage or relationship dynamics, at its heart, couples counseling is also about healing yourself.
I’m at my wit’s end and wonder if I can sustain months of couples therapy...
You are in the middle of an emotionally draining situation. But instead of letting it drag you down, you can use that stress as motivation to overcome the challenges that bring you to this page. After all, ignoring the problem only ensures that you continue wasting your energy on pointless arguments, stonewalling, and self-criticism.
Working with a couples counselor, gives you an ally, a referee, someone to catch the bullets when the words fly. Just having an outlet for your frustration can create an incredible sense of relief. So the sooner you get started, the happier and healthier you can be.
Let Me Help You Break Down The Walls In Your Relationship
If you are tired of having the same old arguments and want to get back to the relationship you once had, I can help.
Please call 786-366-6030 for your free, 15-minute consultation to see how couples counseling can help you heal from the past and, in the process, make you a better partner.